HOW TO SPEAK AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT
*HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:*
1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."
2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLYAPPRECIATIVE."
3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."
4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THEINFORMATION SUPER HIGHWAY."
5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION."
6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."
7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLYINCONVENIENCED."
8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."
9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."
10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."
11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - she is "PECTORALLYSUPERIOR."
12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW-COST PROVIDER."
*HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:*
1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAINSTORAGE FACILITY."
2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."
3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVEDESTINATIONS."
4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."
5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIALRELATIONSHIPS."
6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLYHORIZONTAL."
7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of "RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."
8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."
9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."
10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."
11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE."
1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."
2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLYAPPRECIATIVE."
3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."
4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THEINFORMATION SUPER HIGHWAY."
5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION."
6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."
7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLYINCONVENIENCED."
8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."
9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."
10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."
11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - she is "PECTORALLYSUPERIOR."
12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW-COST PROVIDER."
*HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:*
1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAINSTORAGE FACILITY."
2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."
3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVEDESTINATIONS."
4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."
5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIALRELATIONSHIPS."
6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLYHORIZONTAL."
7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of "RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."
8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."
9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."
10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."
11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE."
posted by Angus at 3:19 PM
7 Comments:
Work email humour at it's best...
yes, that was an email I got at work. You will find that when I don't have much to say I post jokes that I get in my email. My blog, do what I want. :) Thanks for the comment.
Well, I don't work and I don't get much email so it's new to me.
I'll have to remember some of those for the Mr.
Especially now that he is trying to reduce the size fo his liquid grainstorage facility, but is still buying a case of liquid grain every other day.
I could really use some of these if I weren't always so damn blunt.
lol those were great Drafter, thank you, a good laugh is exactly what I needed :)
no problem, glad ya'll liked em. :)
This has been emailed to me many times, but I still get a laugh out of it.
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