Things you’d love to(and probably some you have already)say out loud at work:
1. I can see your point, but I still think you’re full of crap
2. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public
5. I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.
7. I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don’t work here. I am a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can’t understand a damn word you are saying
10. Ahhh… I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again…
11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don’t give a damn.
14. I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for Freaks!
20. I’m not being rude. You’re just insignificant.
21. It’s a thankless job, but I’ve got a lot of karma to burn off.
22. Yes I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be…?
24. Do I look like a people person?
25. This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were going for you missed.
31. I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.
32. A cubical is just a padded cell without a door.
33. Can I trade this job for what’s behind door #1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic, and disorder – my work here is done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.
39. Oh I get it… like humor… but different.
40. Your village called; they are missing their idiot.
2. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public
5. I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.
7. I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don’t work here. I am a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can’t understand a damn word you are saying
10. Ahhh… I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again…
11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don’t give a damn.
14. I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for Freaks!
20. I’m not being rude. You’re just insignificant.
21. It’s a thankless job, but I’ve got a lot of karma to burn off.
22. Yes I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be…?
24. Do I look like a people person?
25. This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were going for you missed.
31. I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.
32. A cubical is just a padded cell without a door.
33. Can I trade this job for what’s behind door #1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic, and disorder – my work here is done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.
39. Oh I get it… like humor… but different.
40. Your village called; they are missing their idiot.
posted by Angus at 1:01 PM
3 Comments:
#35 there is pissing me off today :-)
Ten-four on that good buddy. I gotta ride an elevator down to the lobby to go smoke and everytime I go down I either ride in it with them or after them and it smells like they bathed and soaked in perfume I hate it.
I bet it is doing wonders on your sinus infucktion.
Oh don't get me started today !!! I think there is ONLY ONE that I can't relate to!
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